Worst Nightmare
by C. Lizzy
Summary: Companion to my story, Let The Games Begin Again. Katniss's worst nightmare comes true when both of her children are chosen for the 76th Hunger Games. But that's only the begining of the horrors awaiting the Mellark family. How will she stay strong when inside, she is breaking?
1. My Fault

**I know I've had a poll on my profile to decide who's POV my next story will be on. But, Surprise! I'm not going to follow the results (yet). Hope you enjoy this story! If you haven't read Let The Games Begin Again, I reccomened reading it first (it's long, but worth it!).**

**Just to clear up any confusion, this is my story Let The Games Begin Again told in Katniss's POV**

**Please review!**

2 weeks ago

"Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Mellark. How have you been?" President Kingsman asks.

"We've been better," I say coldly. He nods.

"I see. Let's get down to business, shall we?" Neither of us respond. "It is hard to be a new leader. Most people do not accept you right away. It takes... Convincing. Things are still rather unstable around here, and I would greatly appreciate it if you two would help convince people to accept me as the new president." I have to grip the chair to keep from strangling him right here and now. What makes him think we'd help him? He brought back the games, the very reason the rebellion began. Nothing we could or would do would convince people to like him.

"And if we refuse?" Peeta asks. I didn't even consider punishment.

"Nothing. I can't make you do anything you don't want to," he says.

"There is no way we would do anything for you," I growl through gritted teeth. Kingsman nods.

"Very well, then. Good day," he says. We walk out of the room without another word. As we walk down the narrow hallway, I have to wonder if he really won't do anything to punish us. He did say he wouldn't, but should I believe him? I guess I'll find out.

Reaping Day

"Welcome citizens of District Twelve! This is a special year! Our first Hunger Games in 30 years! I know you are all excited to see who your tributes will be!"

Terror builds inside of me as our new escort walks over to the bowl filled with girl's names. Only three slips of paper have my daughter's name on them. There's no way she'll be picked. I think back to when my little sister was chosen with her name only in there once. That was a one in a million chance, right?

Anita, our escort, opens up a piece of paper. She pauses for dramatic effect. The suspense is killing me.

"Lily Mellark!"

No, no! Not my baby girl! No! "No!" I shout out loud. I struggle to push past the ropes I stand behind as a bystander. "No! She can't go!" I feel a hand on my arm, but I shake it off. I have to fight the urge to shout that I volunteer, because that is no longer a choice. I see Lily walking down the isle. She looks petrified. More hands come down on me and I cannot shake them off.

"Well, isn't this exciting! The daughter of two victors! You must be a real fighter!" Anita exclaims! I keep trying to fight the hands that are now pulling me backwards.

"THIS IS RIGGED!" I shout as I'm dragged through the crowd. Many people shoot me apologetic looks.

"Now for the boys!"

Then it hits me. This is all my fault. Kingsman lied when he said there would be no punishment for refusing to help him. Stupid, stupid, stupid! This is all my fault!

A new wave of terror washes over me. If Lily was picked, I know Orion will be, too. I collapse on the ground and start to sob uncontrollably. Peeta kneels next to me and pulls me into his arms. Through my tears, I barely hear the boy's name, even though I already know who it is.

"Orion Mellark!"

I'm to heartbroken to shout or even look up. The terror inside of me is now accompanied by a deep hatred for our new president, president Kingsman. I never thought I could hate anyone more than Snow, the man who put me in the arena, who was responsible for the deaths of countless innocent children, who blew up my home, who tortured my husband, but the hatred I feel Kingsman makes my hatred for Snow seem childish. This man is putting my children, my babies, into the arena. Into the place that nearly killed me and Peeta.

"Katniss," Peeta whispers quietly. "Katniss, we have to go to the train." I nod and pull myself to my feet. Peeta literally holds me up as we make our way to the tribute train. This place brings back so many bad memories. Peeta guides me to our bedroom, where I collapse on the bed. Peeta sits down next to me and I cry into his shirt. He rubs my back gently.

"This is all my fault," I choke out.

"No, it's not. This is Kingsman's fault," he says.

"Don't you get it?" I snap, looking him in the eyes. He gives me a confused look. "This is payback for not helping him." His eyes widen.

"No," he says. "No, no, no!" His eyes, normally soft blue, have gone cold. I know what's happening. "Mutt!" he shouts. He leans his face closer to mine. "You did this!" His cold eyes stare into me. His words are like daggers, piercing my heart. "This is all your fault! My children are going to die and it's all you fault, you worthless Mutt!" I cringe as he calls me a mutt. More tears stream down my face. Normally, I can talk him out of these attacks by telling him it's not real, but how can I tell his that now? It is real. This is my fault. His hands reach for my neck.

"Please Peeta," I whisper, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. Please don't hurt me." I wait for the squeezing on my neck but it never comes. I open one eye and find Peeta still staring at me, but with his soft, blue eyes rather than his stone-cold eyes. He has tears streaming down his face. His arms wrap around me.

"I'm so sorry," he says. He always feels bad after his attacks. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of that."

"I know. It's okay," I say. His words during his attacks don't usually bother me, but this time, they seem to stay in my mind.

"It's my fault, too," he says. He pulls away from our embrace and looks at the clock. "We've got about twenty minutes. We better pull ourselves together." I nod and head to our bathroom. I splash some cold water on my face to try to erase some of the redness. After a couple minutes, the redness goes down a bit. It'll have to do. Peeta does the same. His face looks relatively normal. I'm not sure that I'm ready to see my kids now. My precious children. I can't believe I did this to them.

"Should we tell them? About Kingsman?" I ask,

"No. I don't want them to be more upset. They'd never forgive us of they knew," he says. I agree that we shouldn't tell them, but I think they would forgive us. Or Lily would, at least. She's old enough to understand how terrible Kingsman is, so she'd understand why we refused to assist him. Still, I won't tell her, just in case she doesn't.

I meet Peeta by the door. The kids should arrive any minute now. I'm scared to see how they're handling this. Especially Orion. He's always been a bit... fragile. Lily is strong, but is she strong enough to handle this?

The doors slide open and Lily and Orion run in. Peeta and I wrap our arms around them in one big group hug. Tears continue sliding down my face, but Peeta keeps it together. I've never been more grateful for him.

The train begins to move and Lily pulls away. She goes to the window and watches sadly as District Twelve disappears. I wonder if one of them will be making the return trip. One of them... only one of my children can come home. I will do everything I can to get one of them home. I can't loose both of my children to the games. I can't. I know I will probably never recover from loosing one, but if I loose both... I don't think I could live.

We make our way to the couches and sit down. There isn't a whole lot to do since the tributes already know their mentors. It hurts to think of my children as tributes. Calling them a tribute is like saying they aren't human. That's why the Capitol could watch and _enjoy _the games. They didn't think of the children being slaughtered as children, but just mere tributes. Pieces in the games.

After a while, Anita announces that it is time to eat dinner. I remember my first time eating Capitol food, and how amazed I was at the sheer amount of food. My kids have always been well fed, but their eyes still light up at the sight of all the food. Our first course is lamb stew. Whoever ordered it must've remembered how I said it was a favorite of mine back when I was younger. Next, we receive a small chicken, which Anita calls a Cornish hen, that has an orange sauce over it. Last, we get desert, which is a pot of melted chocolate with tons of things on sticks to dip in it. Orion and Lily eat a ton of it, and we end up ordering a second and a third pot. In my second games, I started eating the melted chocolate with a spoon. No one says much during dinner. There isn't much to say. We can't just have a normal conversation, talking about the games is too painful. Silence is best at a time like this.

"Time to watch the reapings!" Anita exclaims after the third pot of chocolate has been removed. We make our way to the couches. I sit next to Peeta, Lily sits next to me, and Orion sits next to Peeta. Peeta holds my hand tightly. I lay my head on his shoulder. The reapings start to play. I don't pay too much attention to them. I hope Lily and Orion are.

When the district two reaping is shown, I snap back to full alertness. The girls name. Carmen Hawthorne. She has dark brown hair and gray eyes, just like someone else I know. Gale. No. It can't be his daughter.

"You don't think that's Gale's daughter, do you?" I ask Peeta.

"Yes, I do," Peeta says solemnly. A tear rolls down my cheek. I might always associate Gale with my little sister's death, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Not even him.

"Who's Gale?" Lily asks. It occurs to me that I've never mentioned Gale before.

"He was my best friend," I say. I zone out for the remaining reapings. I feel so bad for Gale. But I can't let that get in the way of trying to get one of my children home. She'll have to die for one of my children to get home.

"Now, Claudius, were there any stand-outs for you?" a yellow-haired Caesar asks. I can't believe those two are actually alive still.

"I think this will be an interesting year, Caesar. Obviously, we have the children of the victors of the 74th Hunger Games from twelve; it will be interesting to see how they fare. Also, a little known fact, Elaina from district eleven," an image of a young, dark-skinned girl, with honey-brown eyes pops up. It's hauntingly familiar, but I can't put my finger on why. "has an aunt whom many people may remember from the 74th Hunger Games. Her aunt, though now deceased, is none other than Rue!" I gasp. Not Rue's niece... This is too much. I walk out of the room quickly and go into my bedroom. I grab a pillow and bury my face in it. As soon as I close my eyes, the faces of Rue, Elaina, Carmen, and Gale flash before me. I open my eyes and settle for squeezing the pillow.

Peeta comes into the room and sits down next to me. He wraps his arms around me.

"Katniss, I know this is hard, but you've got to try to be strong for Lily and Orion," he says.

"I know," I sniffle. I feel so bad for acting the way I have. I should be at least making an effort to be strong for my kids. "You go ahead back out there. I'll be there in a minute." He gives me a quick kiss and leaves the room. I wash my face off and sit on the bed for a couple minutes trying to pull myself together. Then, I go back into the other room. Only Peeta is in there.

"They went to bed," he says. I plop down on the couch next to him.

"What are we going to do?" I ask. Peeta doesn't answer for a second.

"We'll get one of them home," he says. "Or both."

"No," I say sternly. "No. I will not have the Capitol turning on them like they turned on us. I'd rather have both of them die than for them to both live and have to endure everything we did."

"Me too," he says. He yawns. "I'm going to go to bed." He stands up. "Are you coming?"

"Not yet," I say. He kisses me and goes back to our room. I can't bear the thought of sleep yet. I know the nightmares are sure to be awful. I ask one of the avoxes for a glass of that warm milk with honey and cinnamon. The avox sets it down along with a box of tissues. I say a quick thank you, blow my nose, take a sip from the glass.

"Couldn't sleep?" someone asks. I jump a bit and turn to see the source of the voice. It's Lily.

"No," I say. She sits down next to me and I wrap my arms around her so tightly that she reminds me she has to breathe a couple of times.

The sound of a glass being set down breaks us apart. I look at the little table beside the couch and see another glass of the warm milk sitting next to mine. One of the avoxes is quietly walking away. I hand the glass to Lily.

"I'm sorry, Lily," I say.

"Don't be. Nothing you did could've prevented this," she says. _No, Lily, you're wrong. _

"I know, but I'm the one that should be staying strong for you, not the other way around."

"It's okay. I know this is just as hard for you as it is for me."

"How do you feel about this? Being in the games and all. Do you have any questions?"

"I do have one question. Tell me how you and dad both won again."

"Oh no, you are not going to pull something like I did with the berries. The last thing you need is the Capitol turning on you like they did me. I would rather have both of you die than have you go through what I did,"

"Maybe I could pull it off though. I mean, you and dad had to pretend to be in love to prove that you pulled out the berries as an act of love, not defiance. If I did it, people would see it as a girl trying to protect her brother."

"Whatever you do, do not try to pull something like I did. Please, Lily. Promise me you won't."

"Okay, okay, I won't."

"Are there any other things you want to know?"

"No, I'm getting sleepy. I'm going back to bed,"

I give her a quick hug and send her off to bed. After a few minutes, I go back to my room. Peeta is already asleep, so I slip in as quietly as I can. Luckily, he doesn't wake up. I'm beginning to wonder if the milk had some sweet syrup in it, because I fall asleep rather quickly.


	2. Betting

**_No reviews yet.. :( I know it's exactly like Let The Games Begin Again right now, but I promise it will get better once the games start! _**

_Lily and Orion are running through a dense jungle, Cato and Clove are behind them. I try to run to help them, but I can't move. My feet are tied together and my hands are tied behind my back. I struggle to free myself from the bonds, but they will not loosen up at all. Clove knocks Lily to the ground and Cato knocks Orion to the ground. I scream for help, but it doesn't come. I try to close my eyes so I will not have to see the death of my children, but I find that they will not close. _

_ "Help me, mom!" Orion shouts. _

_ "I can't!" I scream. I try once again to fight the restraints, but they refuse to budge. _

_ Out of nowhere, Kingsman pops out. "Nice work," he says to Cato and Clove. He walks over to Clove and takes something from her. A knife. He then turns to me. I expect him to use the knives to kill me, but instead, he cuts the restraints. I begin to run to my childrens' aid, but Kingsman stops me. He hands me a dagger. He then places the tip of his knife on my back. "Kill them," he says. At first, I think that he means Cato and Clove, but then I realize that he means Orion and Lily. "Now." _

_ "No," I say. _

_ "Very well then." Kingsman reties my restraints, takes the dagger from my hand and walks over to Orion. He raises the dagger over his heart. _

_ "No!" I scream. _

_ "Mom!" Orion shouts. Tears stream down my cheek. _

_ "This is your mother's fault," Kingsman says. He brings the dagger down on Orion's heart. Orion screams and then goes limp._

_ "No!" I choke out. Kingsman shrugs and moves on to Lily. "Please! Kill me! Kill me! Don't kill them!"_

_ "I think I will," Kingsman says, turning back to me. "After I kill her." _

_ "No!" I shout. He just walks over to Lily and stabs her. She screams, and goes limp. I fall to my knees. Kingsman comes over to me and raises the dagger. "Kill me. Please, just kill me."_

_ "You want me to kill you?" he says. _

_ "Please."_

_ "No. I think I'll let you deal with the pain." He laughs evilly._

"No!" I shout, sitting straight up.

"Katniss!" Peeta shouts almost frantically. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Katniss, shhh, it's okay."

"Are they okay?" I gasp.

"Yes. They're okay," he says. My entire body is shaking. "They're okay." I nod. He wraps his arms around me. "You want to talk about it?" I shake my head. I lay back down with my head on Peeta's chest. "We've got to be at breakfast in a half an hour." I drag myself out of bed and put on the first shirt and pair of pants I find. I run a brush through my hair and pull it into a quick braid. I make my way down to the dining car. Anita is already waiting there. As soon as I sit down, an Avox gives me a plate of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. I pick away at it slowly.

"How are you doing, Mrs. Mellark?" Anita asks. I almost drop my fork. I never thought an escort could be so considerate.

"I've been better," I say.

"I'm so sorry about all of this. I can't even imagine how awful it is."

"It's pretty rough, but we've got to be strong for the kids."

"They're lucky to have you as a mother." _No, they're not. _

Peeta comes in and eats his breakfast. He looks a lot sadder than he did yesterday. He doesn't say anything as he picks away at his eggs.

Orion comes in looking rather groggy. I imagine he didn't get much sleep last night.

"Good morning, sweetie. How are you?" I ask. He shrugs. He eats the plate of food without a word. I hope Lily is better.

We wait for a while, but Lily doesn't show up. I begin to worry about what's keeping her. All of us have finished our breakfast, and Lily still hasn't come.

"I think I'm going to go check on her," I say. Just before I stand up to find Lily, she comes into the room. She eats her breakfast as quickly as she can despite us telling her we don't mind waiting for her. Anita tells us that we will be arriving at the Capitol in a half an hour, so Peeta starts to give them advice about how to present themselves in the Capitol.

Wave to the crowd, smile, look excited, pretend to be happy to see them," he says.

What if I'm not happy to see them?" Orion asks childishly.

You have to pretend. If you have any desire to come… just do it, okay?" he says, and then he walks out of the room. I think about going to check on him, but decide it's better to just stay with the kids.

None of us say anything for the remainder of the time on the train. They seem nervous, which is understandable. I'm mostly nervous for Orion. He's kind of like me, not the best actor. If he gets it in his mind that he's not going to do something, he's not going to do it. I hope he'll be able to conduct himself well for the Capitol.

Peeta comes back in just before we reach the Capitol. The kids go stand by the windows. I take Peeta's hand and give it a quick squeeze. He smiles sadly.

The Capitol comes into view along with a screaming crowd of people. Lily smiles and waves to the crowd. Orion manages a small smile. I'm glad Lily is doing so well. She might even be overdoing it a bit trying to pull some of the weight for Orion. She'll fiercely protective of him, just like I was with Prim. It's good in most cases, but in the arena, it might get her killed. I know she's going to do whatever she can to make sure Orion gets out.

The door to the train opens, and Anita guides us off the train. Orion cringes away from the cheering crowd, but Lily braves it with a smile.

When we step through the doors of the training center, the tributes from eleven are there, too. I see Lily look over at Elaina and I know what she's thinking. It's the same thing I was thinking about with Rue. She wants to protect her. I can't let her go through the pain of seeing her die and having to live with it. As a mentor, I can't tell her she can't be allies with her, but I can advise her against it. I just hope she'll take my advice.

Anita takes us to the elevator and we shoot up to the twelfth floor. It hasn't changed at all since I was last here. I had hoped I'd never have to come back.

We have some time before dinner, so we sit down on the couch like we did yesterday. None of us can come up with anything to say, so we just enjoy the time that we have left as a family. There's a part of me that hopes Lily or Orion will think of a way to keep both of them alive, but then again, I doubt Kingsman would let that happen.

"Tell us about your stylists," Lily says.

"Oh, you would've loved Cinna. He was the one who got me the name 'The Girl on Fire'" I say. I smile a bit at the memory of Cinna.

"Will he be one of our stylists?" Orion asks.

"No, he… he died," I say.

"Oh… I'm sorry. What about yours, dad?" Lily asks.

"Portia was so nice. She was always in a good mood and was always there for me during hard times." Peeta says

"Did she…" Lily starts

"Yes, all of the stylists and prep teams, except Katniss's prep team, were," Peeta says, ending the conversation.

Anita calls us for dinner a few minutes later. The meal is good, fish soup, lamb chops, and chocolate mousse. No one says anything during. After we're done, Anita tells us that it's time for an update. Update? There were never any updates during any of the games I can remember, but this is Kingsman, not Snow, so he'll do whatever he wants.

"Good evening folks! Welcome to your number one headquarters for all things Hunger Games!" Caesar says enthusiastically. "We have something new this year! Yes, folks we have the betting charts! Even before the opening ceremonies, we have two clear leaders on the betting chart, but we'll start on the bottom with number twenty-four, Elaina Hartman!" A picture of the little girl who looks almost like an exact copy of Rue pops up. I hate that she's on the bottom, but I'm glad that neither of my children are at the bottom. I'm sure they'll be near the top just because their parents are victors. People will automatically assume they are strong fighters, not to say they aren't, but both of them have some of their father's softness. "Number ten, Orion Mellark!" Lily gives him a high-five. The rest of us give him a round of applause. "Number five, Carmen Hawthorne!" I can't help but think how proud Gale must be. "Number four, Bronwyn Derber!" An image of an extremely tough looking girl pops up. She's going to be a tough one to beat. "Number two, Calden McBeth!" For some reason, this kid reminds me of Thresh. Combined with Cato. Yikes... "And number one, with an overwhelming forty-five percent of the bets," I can't keep the smile from my face, already knowing who it is. "Lily Mellark!" Everyone starts to clap. Lily looks sort of confused and surprised.

"Congratulations, Lily!" Anita exclaims.

"I'm so proud of you," Peeta says.

"Hey, don't forget Orion! Number ten is great, too!" Lily says. I love how she's so humble.

"Of course it is, sweetheart," I say to Orion. We turn back to Claudius and Caesar.

"What do you think of our betting charts, Claudius?" Caesar asks.

"I have to say, I'm not at all surprised by our charts. I mean, look at Miss Lily. She's got to be strong with her parents. And Calden, too. That boy is one to watch. I would expect to see Orion Mellark rise up on the charts for the same reason his sister is at the top. Also, I would expect to see Bronwyn Derber make her way to one of the top three positions." Claudius says

"There you have it, folks. That's all the time we have for tonight! Join us tomorrow for the opening ceremonies!" Caesar says. The screen goes black.

"Well, that was exciting!" Anita says. "Off to bed you two." Lily and Orion walk off to their rooms. I scoot over to be next to Peeta. I can just barely hear a conversation coming from near Lily and Orion's rooms.

"What's not fair?"

"_You_ get to be on the top of the charts, the crowd loves _you_, _you _get all the attention, and what do I get? 'Number ten is great, too' 'Of course it is sweetheart' It's not fair!" A door slams.

"Orion, please let me in." There's a short pause. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. But it's not my fault that people bet on me. It's not my fault I know how to work a crowd. It's not my fault that I get attention. But it's not fair to you. I've tried everything I can to draw attention away from me, but you have to try, too. You've got to learn how to make the crowd like you." Another pause. "Don't make me come in there." A door shuts and there's silence. I had a bad feeling this would happen. Orion has always sort of been in the shadow of Lily. He tends to get jealous sometimes, which is understandable, but I hate to see him jealous over something like this.

Peeta stands up. "I'm going to bed," he says. I stand up and go with him, telling Anita goodnight on the way.

"So, what do you think about the whole betting chart thing?" Peeta asks once we're in our room.

"I think it's sick," I say. "I think it's awful that people bet money on the lives of children. I know it happens, but to show it on television... That's terrible."

"I agree," he says. "I guess it's good to know that people have faith in our daughter, though."

"But what about Orion?"

"It's only because he's so young. He'll do fine in the arena. You'll see." I wish I could believe him. I think back to the times I tried to teach him to shoot a bow and climb trees. He was so bad at archery that I didn't think it was safe to let him use the bow, and he wasn't very good at climbing either. Lily excels at both things. But she doesn't do too well with edible plants while Orion is a whiz at it like me. I wish that knowing how to gather food would be enough to get him out of the arena, but unfortunately, it's not. Hopefully he'll pick up on something in training.

Peeta gives me a kiss before turning the lamp off. Surprisingly, I fall asleep quickly.


	3. Surprise

I had always wondered what the mentors did while the tributes were being prepped. The answer: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We sit. We eat. We wait. I'd be bored, but I'm too nervous to be bored. I can't help but wonder who the stylists are and if the will try to reuse the idea of fire, go back to headlamps and overalls. Or if they'll do the naked with coal dust idea. I hope not. I wish they could have Cinna and Portia again, but that's impossible. They've both been gone for a long time now. I'm reminded of the last time I saw Cinna, when he was beaten to a pulp right before my eyes before the Quell began. I can almost hear myself screaming my head off as I began rising into the arena.

"So..." I start, trying desperately to come up with a subject change. "How have things been in the Capitol?"

"Oh, not wonderful," Anita says. "Not many people are particularly happy with... this." She motions to the room. The games.

"That's understandable," I say, trying to keep what I say to a minimum. Kingsman is probably listening in on this conversation, or at least an assistant of his is. If he overhears us saying something... out of line, he'd probably take it out on Lily and Orion.

"I'm excited for the opening ceremonies," Anita says, changing the subject. "They are sure to be thrilling."

"I'm glad I'll get to see some of my old friends," I say. "Like Annie. We haven't seen her since... since Finn's first birthday."

"It's been that long?" Peeta asks. I nod. "Wow, doesn't seem like that long ago."

"And Johanna. Can't wait to see good old Johanna," I say with mock excitement. We haven't seen her since the rebellion, and that's a long time.

"Yep, can't wait to see good old Johanna," Peeta says with the same mock excitement. Anita gives us a confused look.

"We never really got along," I explain. She nods. I didn't bother to mention that Peeta has always associated Johanna with his time being tortured in the Capitol.

"Who else is left?" I ask.

"Enobaria and Beetee," Peeta says.

"Oh yes, Beetee. How could I forget him?" The answer: I never could. I have, and always will associate him with Prim's death, and I don't know if I really want to have a friendly conversation with him. And then there's Enobaria. The fact that we almost killed each other multiple times kind of gets in the way of a friendship.

"Just try to be at least a little friendly," Peeta says. Judging by the look on his face, he knows it's a mistake.

"Friendly? To the man that killed my sister?" I snap at him. "Do you honestly think-"

"I mean don't bite his head off if you speak to him. You don't even have to if you don't want to," he says, cutting me off. I back off a bit.

"Fine. But don't expect me to be friendly."

There's a couple minutes of awkward silence, but Peeta finally speaks up. "Do you know what they did about the districts without mentors?" he asks Anita.

"I believe they hired people from the Capitol to act as their mentors," Anita says.

"That's strange, I figured they'd just let them not have a mentor," I say. I guess that's what would've happened before, when not all of the districts had victors. Then again, I wasn't alive at a time when a district didn't have at least one mentor.

"I guess not," Anita says softly.

"Would you have rather been a mentor than an escort?" Peeta asks.

"I don't know. Either way, it's awful," she says. I give her a confused look. "I mean, as a mentor, you get more attached to the tributes, but as an escort, you... how do I say this, feel responsible in a way for putting the kids in the arena."

"What do you mean, feel responsible?" I ask.

"It's hard to explain. Just the knowledge that if I would've moved my hand an inch to the right or left, your children wouldn't be in this situation," she explains. I shake my head.

"All of those slips had their names on them. They'd be here no matter what," I say bitterly.

"I don't understand," she says.

"Kingsman wanted us to help him with some... things, and we refused. This is our punishment," I say, my voice trembling a bit. I'm not sure if it's out of sadness or anger.

"Oh... Oh, I'm so sorry," she says.

"So don't feel like it's your fault," I say. She shakes her head.

"I can't help it," she says.

"So why did you choose to do this if it's so awful?" Peeta asks.

"No choice," she says sadly. Did the Capitol just choose at random, or is there some other reason? I decide not to question her further. Sounds like a topic she doesn't want to talk about.

We go down to the waiting area when there's about an hour left before the opening ceremonies. Most of the mentors from the Capitol are already there, but it will be a while before the tributes arrive. I wonder what Orion and Lily will look like. And the other tributes, too.

"Katniss," I hear a voice say softly behind me. I turn around to see that it's Annie. She looks very different, older. What did I expect? It's been nearly thirty years.

"Hi, Annie. It's been a long time," I say.

"It has. How are you doing?" she asks.

"Um... Hanging in there," I say.

"I'm so sorry about your children. I couldn't imagine if my granddaughter was chosen," she says softly.

"You have a granddaughter?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, her name is Annabelle. She's eleven so next year..." she trails off. Next year will be her first reaping. That is, if the games last that long... No, I will not think about a rebellion. It's not possible.

"So how is Finn doing?" I ask. She looks down and bites her bottom lip.

"He... he died in a shark accident," she says gravely.

"Oh... I'm so sorry," I say, not knowing what else to say.

"It happened eight years ago," she whispers. She does that thing where she stares at a point in the distance that only she can see. After a few seconds, she shakes her head and her eyes return to me. "I have to go. We should keep in touch after this."

"I think so, too. I'll talk to you later, I guess."

"It was nice to see you, Katniss." She smiles and walks back to the district four chariot. I can't help but think that it will be nice to have someone else who will understand how it feels to loose a child.

Slowly, the tributes and their stylists trickle in. Every time the elevator opens, I look to see if it's my children. They eventually get off. All I can tell is that they are in all black. As they get closer, I see that Orion has on a suit with a cape, and Lily has a long, strapless dress and a black crown that looks similar to the victor's crown. Both outfits are beautiful. The designs look like something Cinna would've made. Tears come to my eyes seeing how grown up they look.

They finally get to the end of the line where we are waiting. I give Lily a tight hug and whisper, "You look beautiful," into her ear. I let her go, wiping a tear from my eye.

"Thanks," she says. "You're going to love my stylist." She smiles mischievously.

"If he or she's anything like-" I stop mid sentence when I see the man approaching. He's old, probably in his mid-seventies, and he has multiple scars on his face. I may not have recognized him, except for his signature gold eyeliner. Cinna. "Oh my goodness."

"Surprise," he says, smiling. We hug each other.

"How are you... here?" I ask, stunned.

"They just couldn't get rid of me," he says.

"I should've known this was your design," I say.

"This is only the start," he says. He walks over to Lily and squeezes something in the fabric of her dress. It starts to flicker, like a real fire. Much like our opening ceremonies in the Quarter Quell. He squeezes a button on Orion's outfit and his cape and the bottom of his pants start to flicker. The top of their outfits remain black. It's beautiful, but I get the feeling this isn't everything. Cinna pulls out a stick looking thing and presses a button on it, making a blue flame come to life at the tip.

"You're not afraid of fire, are you Lily?" he asks. I smile.

"Nope," she says confidently.

"Orion?" Cinna asks.

"Um... no," Orion says nervously. Cinna holds the flaming stick at the bottom of Lily's dress and it catches on fire. The fire and the soft flickering of the fabric-flames create the effect that almost her whole body is on fire. Orion's cape catches on fire, too.

"Whoa," Orion says.

"This is amazing," Lily says.

"Look familiar, Katniss and Peeta?" Cinna asks.

"Yes," I say. "You two look so grown up." I wipe a tear from my eye.

"You are going to hold hands, right?" dad says.

"Of course, why wouldn't they?" Cinna says.

"Enough admiring, it's time to get into your chariots!" Anita exclaims. Lily and Orion hop into their chariot. The horses begin to trot forward. We turn our heads to the giant screen, where district one has just begun to roll down the isle. They wear all white with multicolored jewels forming intricate designs. No doubt they will pull in sponsors. District two rolls out wearing outfits that make them look like they're granite statues. Carmen isn't doing too well as far as working the crowd goes. I wonder what Gale thinks.

After district two, I pay more attention to my children's slowly disappearing figures. Eventually, they roll through the doors and into the isle. I turn my head back to the screen. The crowd goes wild when they roll out. Lily does extremely well working the crowd. Orion, too, does really well. If his smile is forced, which I'm sure it is, I can't tell it. Someone tosses a rose into Lily's hand and she blows a kiss in the general direction of the thrower. About a hundred people jump up to catch her kiss.

Eventually, the chariots all come to a stop and Kingsman comes out onto a podium. My eyes immediately go to the white rose on his lapel. The sickening smell of roses and blood creeps into my nose. I know it's all in my head, but I still feel like throwing up. I breathe through my mouth to avoid the smell, but I can almost taste it. _Just your imagination, just your imagination, _I tell myself over and over, but the smell never goes away and neither does the nauseating feeling that accompanies it. It only goes away when they show the chariots rolling away and Kingsman disappears.

When Lily and Orion's chariot rolls through the door, we all rush over to them and flood them with compliments.

"You were amazing!" A woman who I assume is Orion's stylist exclaims.

"The crowd loved you!" Anita says.

"Great job you two!" Peeta says.

"I knew you had it in you, Orion," I say.

Lily looks around nervously. I follow her eyes and see why. Many of the tributes, the girl from seven and the boy from eight in particular, eye her with jealousy and hatred. My eyes find Elaina, from eleven. She looks at Lily with admiration, but her mentor, a Capitol lady, scolds her.

"Why don't we head back up to the apartment?" Anita says. We all hurry into the currently empty elevator and shoot up to the twelfth floor. Orion heads straight to bed, while everyone else stays up. After a few minutes, everyone but Lily and I have gone to bed.

"You know that little girl from eleven," Lily says. I know where this is going.

"Yeah, what about her?" I say, just to make sure this is going where I think it is.

"I want her as an ally." Yep, that's what I thought. I've got to figure out a way to keep her from having that little girl as an ally. I can't let her live with the pain. I take a deep breath.

"I can't tell you no, but I can tell you this, having an ally is hard. You know that if you plan to go home, they will have to die, and I've seen that girl and I know you want her for the same reason I wanted Rue. Because you want to protect her. It's that motherly instinct in you. When that little girl dies, it will stay with you forever and you will never forgive yourself for it. I am going to highly advise not having any ally other than Orion, that is, if you want him to be your ally."

"Okay, I changed my mind. And yes, of course I want Orion to be my ally," I say.

"Good choice," I say. "You better head to bed. We've got an early day tomorrow." I give her a kiss and send her off to bed. I go to bed, too. Peeta is still awake. His eyes are red. He's been crying. I lay down next to him and wrap my arm around him.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I can't loose one of them," he says.

"I know," I say. "How do people ever get over it?"

"I don't think you can really get over it, but I guess after a while you just learn to deal with it."

"I don't know if I can ever deal with it."

"Me either."

I guess I must've fallen asleep eventually, because the next thing I remember is Peeta shaking me awake from a nightmare. I'm still in the nice shirt I wore to the opening ceremonies, so I change into a pair of long pants and a loose shirt before falling asleep again.


	4. Three Days Left

Paste your document here...

Lily gets to breakfast late again. When we ask what took her so long, she replies with one word.

"Shower."

No explanation needed.

I remember how confusing the shower was when was here for the first time, and Effie at least explained it to a certain extent. Anita didn't bother.

"We were just discussing training," I tell her. "There isn't much to say, just a few rules that are good to follow. The most important thing is to hide your talents, so don't shoot the bow. Second thing, learn the survival skills. I got in trouble in the Quell because I didn't go to the edible plants station. Edible plants will give you an idea of what the arena will be like. I would also recommend learning how to use some other weapons so you don't get stuck without one. Third, stick together. That should be pretty self-explanatory. Do either of you have any questions?"

"Nope," Lily replies.

"Me either," Orion says.

"One more thing," Peeta says. "Don't trust the careers. If there are any."

"The who?" Lily asks.

"The careers typically come from districts one, two, and four, and they train their whole lives for the games, but since there's been no need for training, there may not be a career pack. If there is, don't trust them. I did, and I lost a leg."

"Ok, I'll watch out for them," Lily says.

"Good, finish your breakfast and we'll head down to the training center," Peeta says.

"Why? Training doesn't start for another hour," Orion says.

"Yeah, but we were on time our first year and we were still the last two to arrive," I say.

"Oh, okay," Orion says. They quickly eat their plate of food. Anita stands up to take them to the training room, but Peeta and I tell her to let them go alone.

"To appear independent," I tell her. I can't keep my voice from catching on the word "independent." I'm not ready for my kids to grow up. I know it has to happen but... not like this. Anita reluctantly gives in and we send them to the elevator to go to training. I hope they do well, especially Orion. I know Lily will be fine.

"So," Peeta starts. "I guess we just wait, now."

"Actually, they have a lunch for the mentors, stylists, and escorts at noon," Anita says. "You don't have to go if you don't want."

"We'd love to go," I say. Peeta nods in agreement.

At noon, we go to a room off of the lobby that I didn't even know existed. Cinna and Deena greet use hen we enter and take us to a table where the other living victors are sitting. I take a seat in between Peeta and Johanna.

"Hello, Peeta," Johanna says. "Katniss." She nods at me. Nice to see you, too, I think to myself.

"How have you been?" Peeta asks.

"Well, I got married about three years after the rebellion to a man with son, Kip, who is thirty-six now. I have a daughter, Sienna who is thirty-one now. And I have two fifteen year old grandchildren, Ash and Aspen," she says. I did not think she'd ever have kids. She doesn't seem like the motherly type. "What about you two? How are you doing with all of this?"

"We're just trying to enjoy every day we have left," Peeta says.

"I'm sorry about all of this." She pauses for a minute. "I'm assuming that it wasn't coincidental?"

"No," I say. "This is our fault. We refused to help Kingsman with something and..." I say.

"That's crazy," she says. "That man is looks Snow look nice."

"You think?" I say.

Peeta puts a hand on my arm. "How about we go fix a plate?" I stand up, grateful to escape the conversation with Johanna. We make our way around the buffet tables.

"Katniss?" A man beside me at the soup table asks. I look over at him and realize it's Beetee.

"Hi, Beetee. Nice to see you," I say. I try to keep my voice sounding normal and conversational, but when I see the look on Beetee's face, I know I failed.

"Let's just get this over with. Yes, it was our bombs. No, we did not send in Prim," he says.

"Then who did?" I ask through clenched teeth.

"Coin," he says. I've never been happier that I killed her. "She wanted you to think it was Snow, so you'd be on her side." There's a moment of awkward silence. "We didn't know, Katniss. Not until right after we dropped the bombs and it was too late." Another awkward silence. "I... I'm sorry."

"Too late to change anything now," I say, and walk away before I start screaming. I go back to my seat. Peeta sits down a minute or two later.

"Well, I didn't hear any screaming, so I assume the conversation with Beetee went fairly well?" he whispers in my ear.

"I didn't bite his head off if that's what you're asking," I whisper back.

"That's good," he whispers.

"It was their bomb," I say, blinking tears away.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss," he says. I go back to eating. I can't believe it was them! The very cause I was working for is the reason my sister died. I guess I always knew it was, but that doesn't mean I'm not angry.

"Katniss," Peeta says quietly. I look up from my food and see that everyone at the table is staring at me. My grip on the fork is so tight, my knuckles are white. "Are you okay?" Peeta asks.

"I'm fine," I say. I stand up from the table and start walking out of the room. I can't stay there any more.

"Katniss!" I hear Peeta call. I keep walking. A few seconds later, he comes up beside me. "Why did you just get up and walk away?"

"I can't stand being at the same table with the man who blew up my sister," I say. I don't care who sent Prim in or when they knew she was there.

"You don't know that it was even him that dropped the bombs," Peeta says calmly. I normally love how calm he always is, but not now.

"It's just the association," I say. "I don't feel like talking about this anymore." I keep walking. Peeta keeps following me.

"I'm coming with you," he says.

"No, you can stay," I say. He shakes his head and keeps following me.

Once we get back to the room, I go straight to the bedroom. Peeta sits down next to me on the bed. He presses something into my hand. The locket. I open it and look at the picture of my mother and Prim, both smiling, and the picture of Lily and Orion playing in the lake. I can't help but smile. Seeing these two tiny pictures always helps me when I'm having a bad day. I miss my mother, a lot. She died a while ago, though. Before Lily was old enough to remember her too well. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't volunteered for Prim. I'd probably be in district twelve, married to Gale, watching the Games. I probably wouldn't have children. And Prim would still be dead. A bigger question is, would I be alive? Would I have continued living after Prim's Games? I don't like to think about that question.

A couple hours later, Lily and Orion come back and we eat dinner. Apparently, there is some sort of mandatory viewing tonight for a message from Kingsman. I wonder what delightful news he has to share with us tonight.

"Did you have fun at training?" Anita asks excitedly.

"Aside from the fact that we will have to kill everyone in the room, it was pretty fun," Lily says sarcastically. She looks a bit... Distracted.

"Anything interesting happen?" Peeta asks.

"Actually, yes. We met Carmen, from two. Your friend's daughter," Lily says.

"Go on," I say.

"She said that her dad told her that if she ever got to talk to you to tell you he is sorry about killing your sister, that it was an accident, and he regrets doing it every day," Lily says. This really hits up home. Especially today. I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh… oh my…" is all I can say. I wipe a tear from her eye.

"And… I guess it's a bad time to say that she asked us to be allies with her," Lily says.

"What did you say to her?" Peeta asks.

"We… or I… said yes," Lily says.

"Well, it's your choice," Peeta says.

"I'd say that's a great choice of allies," I say. I really hope she doesn't sat what I think she's going to say.

"Why do you think she's a better ally than Elaina?"

She said it.

"I… I… I just don't want you to have to go through the same pain I did when Rue died," I say. It's the best explanation I can come up with.

"How will it be different when Carmen dies?" she asks.

"Because… I don't know, okay? I can't tell you that you can't have allies, but I can advise you on who would be good ones." I messed up.

"Look at the time! We have mandatory viewing to see!" Anita says, breaking up Lily and I's conversation. All of us, including Cinna and Deena, go to the couch. At eight o'clock, the television flips on. Kingsman is on the screen.

"Good evening!" he says. "I have an important announcement. To make the games more difficult, today was the only day our tributes will be given to train. Tomorrow, at eight o'clock sharp, the individual sessions with the gamemakers will begin. Thank you."

"Oh no..." Lily says.

"That's ridiculous," Cinna says.

"Preposterous," Deena says.

"Please tell me you didn't do only survival skills or only weapons," Peeta says. I didn't even think about that.

"We only did survival skills," Lily says hesitantly. Oh, no.

"This ruins everything!" Anita exclaims.

"I can't use any weapons!" Orion says.

"Let's hope they like survival skills," I say.

"You'll do fine, Orion. The gamemakers will love you," Deena says.

"No, they'll love Lily. Just like everybody else!" he shouts. He starts to walk out of the room.

"Orion, don't think like that," I plead.

"Well, it's true," he says. He keeps walking.

"Orion, please come back," I say. His door slams shut.

"I'll go talk to him," Lily says. She quickly walks out of the room. I hate that he gets so upset about things like this. Especially now that we only have three days left together. Three days...

A couple minutes later, Lily comes back in. We all turn to her.

"How is he?" I ask.

"He's fine, just jealous. Try to give him some more attention," she says.

"I think we can do that. Are you nervous about tomorrow?" I ask.

"A little. I'm more nervous for Orion though," she says. It's so sweet how she's always concerned more about Orion than herself.

"You'll both do fine," Peeta says reassuringly. "Go to bed. You'll need a lot of energy tomorrow." She nods, and goes to her bedroom. Something tells me that the sessions are going to go very wrong for some reason. I hope I'm wrong.


	5. Final Goodbye

**Okay, so I know I haven't updated ANYTHING in a month or two. I am so sorry but I've had the worst case of writers block anyone has ever had (which is why most of this is a mess) and I've been read all of Cassandra Clare's books (City of Bones, City of Ashes and the rest of that series, and Clockwork Angel and Clockwork Prince. If you haven't read them, drop what you're doing and read them NOW. They are the best books ever, better than the hunger games. Anyone who knows me would tell you that that is HUGE coming from me. I've got a slight over-obsession with THG). Anyway, enough rambling. Hope you like the chapter. My updates may be few and far between for a long time. Sorry! And go read The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices.**

I pace back and forth nervously. Orion should be back any minute now.

"Katniss, you know walking isn't going to make him get here faster," Peeta says with a hint of teasing. I sigh and sit down on the couch between him and Cinna. Peeta puts an arm around me and pulls me closer to him. "They'll be fine, Katniss," he assures me. I hope he's right.

Moments later, the elevator doors slide open and Orion walks out. My heart sinks when I see that he's completely pale. I rush over to him.

"How did it go?" I ask nervously.

"I- I'm not sure," he says shakily. "I just showed them what I could, but they never even looked my way. They didn't seem to care."

"That's how it's always been," I say with an edge of bitterness. It's one thing for the gamemakers not to pay attention to me, but it's different hearing that they weren't paying attention to my son. "You did what you could, and that's all that matters."

"If you're worried about sponsors, I assure you that you will not have a shortage," Anita says. "You're the son of two victors, people believe in you."

"That's the only reason," he mutters, walking around us and into his room. I open my mouth to call for him to come back, but Peeta puts a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"Let him go," he says softly. I know he's right, Orion needs time alone, but I'm his mom, I guess I'm supposed to want to comfort him every time he's upset. I reluctantly sit back down on the couch with Peeta and Cinna.

The next fifteen minutes are agonizing. Peeta and Cinna try to start up a conversation, but they only last for a few minutes, if that. Anita examines her nails and fiddles with her hair. It occurs to me how much quieter she is than Effie. Speaking of Effie, I wonder what happened to her. We haven't heard from her in the past thirty years. I wonder if she's even alive still.

The ding of the elevator door opening snaps me back to reality. Lily steps into the room looking fairly confident. I take that to be a good sign.

"How did you do?" I ask.

"I think I did pretty well," she says.

"What did you do?" Cinna asks.

"I shot arrows from one of the beams in the ceiling," she says. I can't help but think of Rue and how she would jump effortlessly from tree to tree.

"That was definitely risky. The gamemakers seem to like risks," Peeta says.

"I hope so," she says. She plops down on the couch beside Peeta. We stay there until dinner time. Orion doesn't come out until we call him to dinner. By then, he seems to have calmed down some.

After we finish desert, we all pile back on the couch to watch the scores. Lily and Orion both fidget nervously. I remember how it felt in my first games, waiting for the scores and how I was sure I'd get a low score. At least neither of my kids shot an arrow at the gamemakers. I hope.

"Good evening! It's time for the training scores! Will your favorite tribute get the highest score?" Caesar says.

"As you all know, the tributes received only one day of training. Will this affect the scores? Let's find out. Take it away, Caesar," Claudius says.

"We'll start with district one! Justice Ingrid, seven! Sapphire Young, six! From district two, Aaron Draver, four! Carmen Hawthorne, eight!"

"Quite, a mix, huh," Deena says.

"Yeah, typically one and two all get in the eight to ten range," Peeta says. I'm not surprised it's such a mix though. I'm sure there were no training programs going on in the career districts. I wonder how it feels to them to be on an even playing field with all the other districts.

They finally get to district twelve. I think everyone is holding their breath at this point. I know I am.

"Orion Mellark, seven!" Everyone claps for him, but he looks disappointed.

"Good job, little bro," Lily says. He smiles just a little bit.

"And finally, Lily Mellark, eleven!" Relief floods her face. We all congratulate her until she points out that Caesar is still talking.

"Don't turn your television off yet. We have yet another important announcement from President Kingsman!" I feel my heart start to beat faster. Is he going to rush things along even more? Cancel the interviews and have the games start tomorrow? I can't loose anymore valuable time with my kids.

"Good evening! We have another change to the games! The interviews will be tomorrow instead of the day after. Tributes will have only tonight for practice. Thank you, and goodnight." Oh no. That's one day less with my kids. That means I only have two days left with at least one of my children.

"They're really rushing things this year," Peeta says.

"Rushing it, or trying to make it harder?" I say.

"Well, I guess we better get practicing," Lily says.

"Yeah, Orion, go with Dad, Lily, stay with me," I says. Everyone but Lily leaves. I try my best to recall how Haymitch helped me practice for the interviews.

"We need to choose a direction for your interview, got any ideas?" I say after thinking for a moment.

"What do you mean direction?" she asks.

"It's the way you act during your interview. Some ideas are nice, humble, funny, sexy, although I do not want you going that way, um… tough, intimidating, sly, anything along that line." I can't get rid of the mental image of Lily acting like Glimmer during her interview. The idea horrifies me.

"I know I can't do tough, intimidating, or sly. That leaves funny, humble, and nice. I'm not that funny, and I don't think I can do humble that well, so let's go with nice." I knew she'd go with nice.

"Okay, I'll ask you some questions, you answer them. Keep your direction in mind."

It's really hard to come up with questions. I don't know how Caesar does it for twenty-four kids every year without them all being the same. I actually kind of find it interesting to hearing Lily's answers to some of the questions. I find that I'm asking questions more to find out how she's handling everything than to really help her practice. A question pops into my mind that I know Lily will hate to answer, and I hate to yea her answer, but curiosity wins over.

"How do you like having your brother in the games with you?" I ask. Seeing the look on her face makes me regret asking the question. Stupid curiosity.

"Um… It's awful, knowing that one us is going to die. I hate it. I absolutely hate it," she says sadly. I can't bear to make her answer anything else, and I don't think I can hear anymore answers without my composure breaking, so I send her off to bed. She'll do fine tomorrow. She definitely inherited her dad's way with words. I still can't help but worry. I guess it's just a mom-thing to worry about your kid though.

About a half an hour later, Orion and Peeta walk in, Peeta with a frustrated expression. Orion gives me a quick hug and goes off to bed. Peeta sits next to me.

"How'd it go?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not too good. What about Lily?"

"She did fine," I say.

"They'll both be fine tomorrow," he says. "We should take them to the roof tomorrow night."

"That's a good idea," I say.

"Come on, let's go to bed," he says. I nod. We walk down the hall to our bedroom. Surprisingly, I fall asleep fairly quickly.

The next day

All of the mentors and escorts have gathered in the area under the stage to wait for our tributes to arrive. I talk a little bit with Annie and Johanna, but most of the time I just stay close to Peeta.

"Katniss? Peeta?" A familiar voice says from behind us. We both turn around and see an older woman with an orange wig and a matching orange dress. I'd recognize her anywhere.

"Effie! It's so good to see you," I say. She smiles.

"I've missed you two," she says. She gives both of us a hug. "I tried to find you the other day but I never found you. How have you been all these years?"

"We've been good," Peeta says. "I'm sure you know by now that we have two kids."

"Yes," she says. "I saw at the reaping that they were both Mellarks and my heart broke. I know you must be devastated."

"It's... Hard. It's very hard," I say. Effie cranes her next to look past us.

"My tributes are here. I've got to go," she says.

"What district?" Peeta asks.

"Eight," she says. She quickly walks back over to us and whispers, "I shouldn't say this, but I feel like I should warn you to tell your kids to look out for Bronwyn, the girl. She's dangerous." She walks quickly over to where the two kids are standing.

"I'm glad to see she's still alive," I say.

"Me too. I hate she's not with twelve again though," Peeta says. Someone else enters the room. I squint to see who it is.

"It's Orion," Peeta says. Orion walks over to us. He's wearing a black suit with a red bow tie. He looks absolutely adorable. Once he gets over to us, Peeta and I give him a hug.

"Are you ready?" Peeta asks.

"I guess," he says.

"Don't worry. You'll do great," I say. He smiles a little bit.

A couple minutes later, Lily comes in. I swear, everyone in that room stopped talking and looked at her. It was only for a second, maybe not even that, but it still happened. She looks absolutely stunning. She's wearing a strapless black ball gown that has clear-ish red, orange, and yellow sequins, the bottom has see-through red fabric layer over the black material, and underneath the black is red, orange, and yellow crinoline. Her hair is down and just a little bit curled.

When she gets over to us, she goes straight to Orion. "Look how handsome you are," she says. He smiles a genuine smile that I haven't seen since we got to the Capitol. "You think I could borrow your suit sometime?"

"No, Lily! You're a girl!" he says. Both of them laugh. I smile. It's good to hear them laugh again.

"Oh, come on. I'll let you borrow my dress," she says.

"Ew, no! I'm not wearing a dress," he says.

"You two are quite a pair," Deena says.

Someone announces that it's time for everyone to get in line. Cinna takes Lily to her spot, and Deena takes Orion to his. I can see them talking to each other, but I can't tell what they're saying. A couple minutes later, they come back to where we're standing.

"Are they nervous?" I ask.

"Orion seems kind of nervous," Deena says. "But that's understandable." I nod. I'm sure all of the tributes are nervous even if they don't show it. I'd say it'd be strange if they weren't nervous.

I don't really pay attention to the other tributes' interviews. I only really focus when Cinna and Deena leave to sit in the audience during the district eleven interviews. The little girl, Elaina, is so cute. She reminds me of Rue and Prim so much. It brings back all the guilt and sadness that I've tried for so long to forget.

After the boy comes off the stage, Lily goes up for her interview. Her dress looks even more stunning on stage. The top shimmers just a little bit so it looks almost like glowing embers. I hold my breath as she and Caesar talk effortlessly. The audience loves her. It's almost hard to believe that she's my daughter. I've never been so glad that she's so different from me. Now I just hope that Orion can do just as well.

Lily comes off of the stage. She hugs Orion despite the Capitol man urging Orion onto the stage. When she lets him go, he is practically shoved into the tube that lifts him onto the stage. Lily stands in front of the tube until Orion is out of sight, then wedges herself between Peeta and I. We both put our arms around her and silently watch Orion's interview.

"Welcome, Orion! It's great to have you here! And may I say you look dashing in that suit," Caesar says.

"Thank you, Caesar."

"Now, we just heard from your sister. How do you like having her here with you?"

"She has helped me a lot through this process. I know that one of us will not be returning home, and that's really hard to think about. Ever since the reaping, my only wish has been to find a way to get both of us home. I want Lily to know how much I love her, even when I yell at her or fight with her. I have always looked up to her and tried to be just like her. " A tear wells up in his eye. The audience starts to mumble unhappily.

"Aw, don't cry. I know it must be very hard. If I could change the rules, I could." Oh, Caesar. You just messed up. People in the audience are calling for rule changes and even for the games to be stopped. Caesar tries to quiet the audience down, but it's no use. They refuse to quite down. Poor Orion looks terrified and confused. The buzzer is just barely audible over the roar of the crowd. Orion walks quickly off the stage. As soon as he gets out of the tube, he runs straight to Lily. Peeta and I wrap our arms around both of them.

"What did I do?" Orion asks.

"Nothing, honey. You did great," I say.

"I know you only got to say a few things, but you did great," Peeta says.

"But why did everyone get so mad?" he asks.

"They're not happy. They hate the thought of..." They hate the thought of the victor's children dying. I can't manage to say the whole thing.

Cinna and Deena come in, looking slightly panicked. They pull us aside. This isn't good.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We're not sure, but from what we've heard, Kingsman's not happy at all," Deena says.

"He can't do anything to make the games harder, can he?" I ask.

"I guess we'll find out," Cinna says. "But from what we understand, there was a bit of premeditation to this."

"How could there have been premeditation to that?" Peeta asks.

"We're not sure. There may have been more to the plan though," Cinna says. "Don't worry about it too much, though. Just go back to your kids." I nod. Peeta takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

When we get back over to Lily and Orion, they give us quizzical looks.

"The Capitol isn't happy about what happened in the audience," Peeta says.

"Kingsman is on stage now," Deena says. We turn back to the screen, where Kingsman is on the stage before a dead silent audience. My heart starts to beat faster. Seeing Kingsman is never a good thing.

"I am horrified with every last one of you. How dare you react as you did? You can be sure that there will be no more than one victor. Do you understand?" Kingsman says harshly. The audience gives a slight nod. "Good. I was not planning on making these games any more difficult than what we have planned, but believe me when I say; we will be showing less than no mercy in these games. As a punishment, the games will be beginning in two hours. Tributes must be on the hovercraft in one hour."

Lily shrieks faintly. Peeta puts an arm around me. My hands are shaking. One hour. One hour. One hour left with my kids. Things are running through my mind so fast that I can hardly think anything but the words 'one hour.' I take a deep, shaky breath. If it weren't for Peeta, I don't think I would be standing. One hour. One hour. One hour.

"Come on you two. There's somewhere we need to go," Peeta says. We go up to our floor and lead them onto the roof. "This is where your mom and I spent our last night before the games began. We were going to take you up here tonight anyway, but with things rushed, we should probably spend as much time together as possible." We sit by the edge of the roof, Lily and Orion in between us. Orion lays his head on Lily's lap. I can't believe this is the last time I'm going to see one or both of my kids. We have to get one of them home. I can't let both of my kids die. This is the exact reason I swore I'd never have kids. I thought after the rebellion I'd never have to face this. That my kids would never have to face this. And look where we are now.

I hear a sniffling sound beside me. I look over and see that Lily has tears rolling off of her cheek. Orion is trying to comfort her, but the tears keep coming. Peeta and I wrap our arms around both of them. She hasn't cried one tear since we got here. I'm surprised she's been able to stay so strong. I can't even imagine what this is like for her. I've tried imagining what it would be like if Prim were a boy and we would've been put in the games together. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I wonder how they're going to do in the arena.

Cinna comes up to take Lily and Orion to change into their arena outfits. Lily takes Orion's hand as they go back into the apartment. I scoot over next to Peeta and lean my head on his shoulder.

"We've got to get ready to take them to the hovercraft," he says quietly.

"How much longer?" I ask.

"About fifteen minutes." He stands up and holds his hand out. I take it, and he pull me to my feet. We walk back into the building. Cinna, Deena, and Anita are sitting at the table quietly. We sit down with them.

After a couple minutes, Peeta stands up. "I'll be right back," he says. He walks out of the room. When he comes back, he has two things in his hand: the Mockingjay pin and the pearl. He hands Mockingjay pin out to me. "I figured you could give this to Lily," he says.

"No," I say. "It's a symbol of rebellion. The gamemakers won't like that."

"Since when do you care what the gamemakers like?" Cinna asks. I can't help but smile a little.

"You're right," I say. I take the pin from Peeta's hand. "Maybe a little rebellion is exactly what we need."

"That's the spirit," Cinna says.

I turn to Peeta. "You'll give Orion the pearl?" I ask. He just nods.

Cinna looks at his watch. "It's time for them to go," he says solemnly.

Deena stands up. "I'll go get Orion," she says. She walks quickly down the hall. A couple minutes later, she comes back with Orion, who looks absolutely terrified. I pull him into my arms and hug him tightly, knowing that this very well could be the last time I see him, but I try not to think about that.

When I let him go, I see that his eyes are gleaming with tears. "Be strong," I tell him. "I have faith in you."

"I love you mom," he says quietly, his voice quivering slightly.

"I love you, too," I say. He walks over to Peeta, and hugs him. Then, they walk to the elevator. A few minutes later, Deena leaves. Cinna goes to get Lily, leaving me alone in the dining room. I take a shaky breath and remind myself it's Lily going into the games. Not me. But this is ten times worse than going into the games myself.

I rub my thumb across the Mockingjay pin, hoping it will bring some comfort. It doesn't. I can only hope it will bring Lily some luck.

Lily comes in with Cinna. She looks calm. I hope it's not just a facade. We walk to the elevator that takes us to the hangar. The elevator door opens, revealing the hovercraft. I hug Lily and pin the Mockingjay onto Lily's jacket.

"For your district token," I say.

"What about Orion?" she asks. I love how she's always concerned about him.

"Dad's giving him something very special. Don't worry about that," I say. My eyes sting with tears. I will not cry in front of her now. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Don't cry, mom. Stay strong. One of us is coming home. I promise."

"You can do I Lily. I know you can."

An attendant tells Lily it's time to leave. I reluctantly let Cinna take her to the hovercraft. I watch as the electric current freezes her in place and the ladder retracts into the hovercraft. As soon as the hovercraft flies away, I turn and go back into the apartment. All I can think about is that I may never see my children again.


	6. Authors Note

**Author's Note**

**I'm sorry to say that I will no longer be updating this story or any of my others. I am currently working on writing my own novel, so that comes first right now. Thanks to everyone who has read/favorited/reviewed all of my stories, and hopefully you'll be seeing my book in stores one day!**

**-C. Lizzy**


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